Ketika ku baca rapot-mu nak

Bukan maksud ayahmu untuk tidak bersyukur menulis ini. Tetapi ini mungkin cerminan pikiran banyak ayah dan bunda yang lain ketika melihat nilai-nilai anak tercintanya dalam sebuah laporan kenaikan kelas.

Ini juga refleksi perasaan kakekmu ketika melihat rapot ayah dulu. Perasaan kakekmu itu begitu dalam ayah rasakan kini karena ayah bekerja banting tulang seperti halnya kakekmu dulu.

 Setiap orang tua bekerja keras tentunya agar anaknya hidup lebih baik dari dirinya. Ayah pernah berbicara dengan seorang maestro seni yang nampaknya sudah kaya lahir bathin dan terkenal. Ketika ditanya harapannya terhadap anaknya di masa depan, ia menjawab “Aku ingin anakku lebih baik dariku. Aku hanya tahu ini sehingga aku mencoba mempermudah hidupnya jika ia mau meneruskan pekerjaanku ini. Tetapi bila boleh memilih, aku ingin anakku hidup lebih dariku dengan cara yang lain.” Ketika kutanya alasannya, ia pun menjawab “Untuk seperti ini sekujur tubuhku telah mencatat luka-lukanya, lidahku sudah kenyang pahitnya mendaki jalan ini. Aku tahu bahwa sedikit yang tersisa di puncak seperti aku ini.”

Kami ini hanya manusia, suatu waktu kami punya musuh di tempat kerja yang membawa kami ayahmu kepada perang yang namanya office politics. Tempat kerja menjadi neraka. Mungkin hanya sedikit di antara ayah-ayah yang punya atasan yang baik hatinya. Kebanyakan atasan tidak manusiawi. Mereka ingin memisahkan kami ayahmu denganmu melalui kerja lembur. Kadang kamilah atasan yang tidak manusiawi itu. Tapi kami para ayah mengerjakannya demi kamu menjadi lebih baik daripada kami.

Bila kami tidak kuat akan tekanan, beberapa di antara kami memilih keluar meski harus menganggur. Atau beberapa ayah yang berwirausaha pun suatu ketika jatuh bangkrut dan juga akhirnya menganggur. Tetapi kami para ayah, tetap keluar rumah mencari sesuatu untuk membuatmu lebih baik.

Bayangkan nak, berapa banyak ayah yang terjerat kasus korupsi dan hukum karena ingin anaknya hidup lebih baik tidak jadi koruptor atau penjahat. Atau berapa banyak ayah yang memilih tetap jujur, miskin dan menderita menyaksikan dirinya tidak mampu mewujudkan impian buah hatinya menjadi lebih baik. Kami semua hanya tahu ini untuk dikerjakan.

Engkau pun tidak jauh dari pepatah “Seperti buah yang jatuh dari pohonnya”. Banyak hal yang tidak pernah ayah ajarkan tetapi kau lakukan seperti layaknya ayah dulu melakukannya. Seperti bagaimana dirimu menghabiskan buku catatanmu untuk menggambar bukan untuk mencatat. Mungkin suatu hari nanti ayah akan dipanggil gurumu karena kamu membolos nonton konser group favoritmu. Yaa, ayahmu dulu pernah begitu. 

Engkau pun suatu saat nanti akan merasakan yang kami para ayah rasakan saat ini. Bukan karma, tetapi inilah siklus hidup. Bagai roda ada kalanya di atas dan ada kalanya di bawah. Beberapa teman sekolah ayah yang nampaknya akan kaya tujuh turunan kini hidupnya tidak lebih baik dari ayahmu ini. Tetapi ayah bukan ingin kamu jadi kaya raya dan terkenal. Kami para ayah hanya ingin kamu lebih baik dari pada kami sebagai orang tua, sebagai warga masyarakat, rekan kerja atau usaha dan sebagai umat beragama nantinya. Sehingga pesan kami jangan tutup kisahmu dengan rapotmu kini, tetapi selalu bukalah kisahmu dengan perjuangan menjadi lebih baik di jalan kebaikan apa pun yang kau pilih. Selamat atas prestasimu nak. Apa pun isi rapotmu.

Mari menghapus Ujian Nasional untuk peserta didik

Dad, ajarin bikin puisi buat PR dong. Setengah kaget, saya sebagai seorang ayah yang kebetulan juga berprofesi pendidik, mencoba menggali lebih lanjut mengenai tugas putri saya yang masih duduk di kelas 4 SD. Ia diminta membuat satu bait puisi mengenai hutan. Tentunya komentar saya sebagai pengemar dan penulis puisi adalah "kok bikin puisi dibatasi?!" Ternyata pula tugas ini bagian dari sejumlah soal dalam buku latihan dengan tipe soal cloze test atau isian bebas.

Tanpa mau menambah kebingungan putri saya dan keheranan saya pribadi, saya mulai dengan meminta ia menceritakan apa yang ia rasakan - bukan yang ia ketahui - tentang hutan. Cerita tentang rasa ini pun dapat dikembangkan menjadi satu artikel kegagalan sekolah dalam mendidik anak serta ketidakmampuan Ujian Nasional mengukurnya. Tapi untuk mempersingkat cerita, anak saya tidak mampu menceritakan perasaannya tentang hutan meski mampu menceritakan banyak hal yang ia ketahui mengenai hutan. Pun saya meminta ia menulis 4 baris dari hal-hal yang ia ceritakan sebelumnya. Ia pun protes, "kan cuman diminta menulis puisi satu bait kok 4 baris?!?", tanyanya setengah bingung.

Saya yakin fakultas pendidikan di mana pun akan mengajarkan para guru membuat lesson plan. Memang banyak sekali perspektif pembuatan lesson plan, tetapi semuanya berbicara tentang penjenjangan dalam desain instruksi. Dari cerita di atas jelas bahwa anak saya meski telah berkali disuruh membuat puisi oleh sekolahnya, tetapi belum pernah dijelaskan apa itu puisi dan apa yang membedakannya dengan pantun, gurindam atau lainnya. Bukanlah berarti bahwa sejarah sastra Indonesia selengkap-lengkapnya harus diberikan terlebih dahulu sebagai pra-syarat untuk dapat membuat sebait puisi bagi anak kelas 4 SD. Tetapi kejelasan perintah agar anak mampu membuat puisi seperti yang akan diukur oleh sang guru atau pembuat buku tidak pernah diberikan apalagi perintah pembuatan ini merupakan bagian dari kumpulan soal-soal bersifat pertanyaan terbuka. Hingga - tanpa bermaksud berprasangka buruk - dapat disimpulkan bahwa, pertama, guru tidak membuat lesson plan dengan baik hingga ia sendiri mencobakan soal-soal yang akan diajukan kepada murid-muridnya. Kedua, soal-soal yang diberikan adalah soal asal comot dari sumber-sumber yang tidak terjaga kualitasnya yaitu buku yang dipaksa beli oleh sekolah. Dan yang terakhir, pemberian soal ini hanya merupakan penunaian kewajiban guru bukan pada upaya mengukur pencapaian penyampaian materi oleh guru. Benar, anda tidak salah baca soal-soal itu untuk mengukur pencapaian guru dalam menyampaikan bukan pencapaian murid dalam menerima.

Di sinilah paradigm shift yang perlu dipahami dalam menghapuskan Ujian Nasional. Ujian Nasional selama ini dimaksudkan untuk mengukur peserta didik saja. Sementara guru, seperti yang selalu dikeluhkan oleh orang tua, hampir tidak pernah menerapkan metode-metode pengajaran secara berkualitas apa pun mazhab pendidikannya yang dianut sekolah.

Penggunaan paradigma lama memberikan hasil yang beragam. Mulai dari yang tampaknya tidak ada hubungan sama sekali hingga yang jelas di depan mata. Salah satu contoh yang tampaknya tidak ada hubungan adalah sebagai berikut. Saat saya sekolah dulu, semua orang tua berebut memasukkan anaknya ke sekolah negeri, tetapi saat ini orang tua (teman-teman saya sekolah dulu, setidaknya) berebut memasukkan anaknya ke sekolah swasta. Dahulu ada sekolah2 swasta di tempat saya menghabiskan masa kecil yang banyak orang tua malu memasukkan anaknya ke sekolah itu karena memang tempatnya anak-anak buangan dan bermasalah. Tetapi kini beberapa sekolah itu menjadi sekolah mentereng. Padahal tidak ada perubahaan signifikan antara sekolah negeri dan sekolah swasta. Sekolah negeri saat ini pun mampu memiliki fasilitas guru dan infrastruktur yang tidak kalah dengan sekolah swasta. Menurut hemat saya banyak orang tua yang kecewa dengan cara mereka diukur dahulu sewaktu mereka sekolah di sekolah negeri. Mereka pun tergiur dengan cara pengukuran tambahan bagi anak mereka yang ditawarkan sekolah swasta meski seringkali tidak dipahami oleh para orang tua. Padahal kesemuanya hanya mengukur peserta didik. Walhasil, salah satu yang tampak di depan mata adalah keluhan banyak orang tua murid saat anak mengerjakan PR dan mengalami kebingungan sehingga harus bertanya kepada orang tua.

Di negeri orang tempat saya dulu menuntut ilmu, peserta didik memang mengalami ujian regional, tetapi hal itu bukan untuk menentukan kelulusan para peserta didik. Hal itu digunakan untuk menentukan kualitas sekolah. Bila sekolah mampu melampaui batas-batas yang telah ditentukan maka ia akan dianugerahi kesempatan lebih besar mengembangkan sekolahnya - swasta atau pun negeri. Tetapi bila sekolah tidak mampu, maka sekolah akan diberi waktu untuk memperbaiki diri dengan pendampingan dari pemerintah atau bahkan ditutup selamanya bila tidak juga mampu memperbaiki diri meski telah didampingi.

Di sinilah sebenarnya common ground untuk menghapuskan Ujian Nasional, buat mereka yang pro-Ujian Nasional, adalah alat ukur kualitas pendidikan bangsa. Sementara itu yang anti Ujian Nasional merasa bahwa hal ini hanya proyek buang-buang duit saja karena tidak mampu memotret kualitas pendidikan bangsa yang sebenarnya.

Terlepas dari cara mengukur, memang untuk memotret kualitas pendidikan bangsa ini kita perlu alat ukur berbentuk ujian. Tetapi alat ukur ini sebaiknya ditujukan untuk mengukur mesin pendidikan dan komponen-komponennya yaitu sekolah dan para guru. Hal ini akan menunjukkan bila produk yang dikeluarkan mesin berkualitas rendah, maka pada bagian mana dari mesin yang rusak dan perlu diperbaiki. Bahkan pada skala yang lebih besar hal ini justru mengukur kinerja Departemen Pendidikan Nasional (DIKNAS) melalui pencapaian sekolah-sekolah akibat pendampingan dan pemberian kesempatan berkembang oleh DIKNAS. Sekali lagi anda tidak salah baca, memang bukan mengukur kinerja sekolah-sekolah dalam mencapai ukuran-ukuran yang ditetapkan DIKNAS.

Jadi marilah kita melaksanakan keputusan Mahkamah Agung untuk menghapuskan Ujian Nasional bagi peserta didik. DIKNAS tidak perlu khawatir dan membatalkan Ujian Nasional yang sudah terencana untuk tahun ini, hanya saja DIKNAS perlu segera membangun pembaca alat ukur yang berbeda, yaitu untuk mengukur pencapaian ujian nasional ini sebagai gambaran pencapaian DIKNAS. Masalahnya, maukah DIKNAS mengukur dirinya sendiri melalui Ujian Nasional. Mari kita doakan. Amien.

On Birthday or Year Recounting (Literal Translation of Indonesian: Ulang Tahun)

I was born years ago today. Were I reborn today?

Which moment in my life that was recounted today? If life has come to a full circle for me this year today, have i fulfilled it with life that build my path to eternal life or the life after.

What if there is nothing to be recounted today, nothing comes in full circle today, or nothing was born out of me today... what if so many what if that give birth to frustrations, anger and regrets.

Or what if there is simply nothing... no feeling, just empty.

Ah.. emptiness.

When it comes to a full circle, it looks to me a fine-rounded-looking zero

Ah.. emptiness

We came here empty handed,

We shall be reborn today, on the day we call birthday, feeling empty,

Inshaallah...

We will return lightly into the light.

Office, Nov 23, 2009

Travel Warning: Indonesia is Dangerously Beautiful

Welcome holiday seasons. Watch out for travel warnings. Though Osama doesn't hide in Indonesia, just don't go there. It's extremely dangerous. See the facts below.

The politicians are greedy in Indonesia. Protesters are conducting rallies everyday. They turn to riots easily.

More over, Indonesia is a country where accountants are not accountable. Auditors are blind, corruption is everywhere. Why would anyone want to go to Indonesia? Even Indonesians are terrified with the above facts.

I can argue about the above facts. However, it makes this writing dull. Have you been to Jakarta lately? Perhaps you have seen a bumper sticker that says exactly the same as the title above. The creator is a brilliant Indonesian Tourism Marketer. First of all, the sticker is a very rare souvenir that you can brag about when you return to your country.

Secondly, Indonesia is not for the faint of hearts. Thousands of travel warnings will never prevent the bolds and the braves coming to this archipelago that hides mystery and fortune. They come to challenge the waves, dive the reef, climb the cliff, camp in the deep of tropical forest or travel to the center of earth. Adventure Tourism is the niche market for Indonesia.

Here, the list continues. Indonesia is the home of thousands volcanoes, the biggest tsunami ever and perhaps – with climate changing and global warming – we will see typhoon and other devastating natural phenomena in the future. Do you know that Indonesia has more days with lightning strike that any other place on earth? Ask Indonesian Geophysics and Meteorology Agency. Surely, these are not for tourist. These are for scientists loaded with research grants. Scientists have already come to Indonesia with tourist visa. It would be a lost of income and a theft of local wisdom. Research Tourism is another niche market for Indonesia.

Indonesia is not that bad. It is the most democratic country. Reformasi has marked the world political history as a swift and peaceful power change. Even the US can not outperform the percentage of Indonesian voting participants. Indonesian’s climate is not nice for protester rally.  Bet, you rarely find protesters on the street. Consider it a bonus of your visit when you find one.

Some municipalities are well governed. They have become an icon for other municipalities. There is this success story about once a village of sea pirates that became an exporting village. Gambus Laut is located in the remote area in, Asahan Regency in North Sumatra. A team of Indonesian capacity building consultants came to the area. They convinced the villagers to change the course of their lives regardless that they were marginalized by the country and had become sea pirates. They sat together applying the Best Value Approach and redesigning future. There were seldom villagers went on Hajj Pilgrimage then. Now, Gambus Laut can send 11 persons per year on Hajj Pilgrimage. It was the performance standard that the villagers set together and were compelled about.

Gambus Laut is not the only success story in Indonesia. Ministry of Bureaucratic Reforms publishes “Seeing is Believing” – a collection of municipalities that out performs others in applying good governance. These areas are worth visiting to see whether they are for real. These areas are worth research about.

Unlike regular tourism, the research tourism is apparently a very large market. Regular tourists come for short visit of average a week. Researchers stay longer and spend more money. They bring knowledge as well. In return, Indonesia gets more publicity from the research reports published in international journal. It gets more famous, more and more. Not to mentioned that it gets smarter and smarter.

Tourism industry in Indonesia is very pessimistic about the election next year. The two round elections leave them no room for tourism event. Protesters rally and riots will be everywhere. However, it is another attraction for the brave and the bold, who have gone to where no man has ever gone before. The world is curious whether Indonesia can maintain its world record as the most democratic country, especially when North Maluku’s election has been a bad apple in Indonesia reputation as democratic country.  

In 1998, journalists all over the world stayed in the hearts of the history in the making in which it was the most dangerous hotel in Indonesia. They spent a lot of money. One student from the University of Indonesia made USD 1,000.- a week by becoming interpreter for these foreign journalists. She is now a journalist for Voice of America.

Media workers and tourism industry shall work hand in hand to make this event bigger than Obama’s election and save Indonesian Tourism Industry.

All beautiful sceneries and cultures in Indonesia mean nothing. Malaysian can say that they have whatever Indonesian has. However there are plenty to watch here that no country has it like Indonesian does. All travel warnings issued by many countries are actually free publicity for Indonesia. It takes the bolds and the braves to unravel the mystery of Indonesian beauty. Take this article as an invitation for the bold and the braves to discover the dangerously beautiful Indonesia.

by Jaha Nababan of Public Management International Institute

Don't spend new education budget on computers

Don't spend new education budget on computers
The Jakarta Post, Saturday, August 23, 2008

Jaha Nababan, Jakarta

It could be illegal if Indonesia does. The visit by Bill Gates and Craig R. Barrett to Indonesia a few months ago to offer Indonesia cheap processors and free software may invite Corruption Eradication Commission (KPK) curiosity.

The Jakarta Post, May 16, 2008, noted behind the US$200 PC program was the goal to improve the PC-to-student ratio from 1:3,200 to 1:20. According to figures from the National Education Ministry website, there are approximately 53 million students from kindergarten through senior high school. It means the government must buy 2.65 million new computers at $200 a piece. This is the point where the KPK should start nosing around.

First, since the education budget for next year is Rp 244.4 trillion ($26.6 billion), the cost of buying the computers is very small compared to the proposed budget.

Second, Intel and Microsoft are not the only processor and operating software producers on earth. Accepting the offer may run contrary to Presidential Decree 80/2003 on the procurement of goods and services.

For cheap computers, there are currently many options starting as low as $100. The One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) program sells a wireless laptop, called XO, to students in underdeveloped countries. It may look like a toy, but it was designed according to the needs of the user. It has a crank so children in areas with no electricity can still run it. Its basic functions allow children to read, write, calculate, browse the Internet, draw and even learn programming.

OLPC's XO is not the perfect cheap computer. The online science and technology magazine The Register noted some of its downsides. However, learning from OLPC's experience, the government should think strategically and consider asking vendors to design a computer to meet specified needs.

Should the government be cash-strapped, it can give incentives. The city of Manningham, Australia, offers a good case in point. City officials wanted to build and maintain a road for 20 years. It set out a wish list and calculated the cost, which turned out to be A$160 million over 20 years. It put out a tender for the project. The tender winner proposed a project for $140 million for 20 years, a $20 million saving.

The city will pay the tender winner monthly for 20 years plus some tax incentives should they achieve service targets. This is a win-win agreement. The city saves costs and pays less monthly while the company is guaranteed liquidity for 20 years. By handing over the operation to contractors, the city is steering not rowing. That is the role of government.

For 2.65 million new computers specially customized to meet Indonesian needs, many vendors, local and international, would be interested in the bid. Moreover, if production is located in Indonesia, it would help energize the IT industry here at home. Indonesia could create a niche market for the computing needs of underdeveloped countries. Indonesian software could go international with the penetration of this new breed of computers. In this scenario, Indonesia could become a giant in the internet and communication technology industry.

Industry giants like Microsoft and Intel are capable of helping Indonesia realize this dream. Intel is offering its Classmate laptop in stores for US$225. The Classmate runs Linux or Windows with classroom collaboration software. It is strong competition for OLPC's XO.

The second generation of Classmate PC is even better, with built-in webcam, wider screen and larger storage. According to the Post report, Intel is going to build the latest generation of cheap processors for these cheap computers for Indonesia. What Intel is going to give Indonesia for $200 remains a secret.

There is no such thing as a free lunch. Both giants are betting on future market security. For Microsoft it means securing 53 million students as Windows users and for Intel, a 2.65 million new Classmate PCs deal could leave OLPC's XO or other competitors in the dust. It is vital the government take more initiative in shaping the offer.

President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono was expected to tell Gates and Barrett he really appreciated the offers. However, accepting the $530 million deal would be breaking the law. Moreover, in the name of free market competition, Indonesia must not join with one players to beat the others.

Indonesia must make use of this free market competition for its own benefit. Who would turn down such a deal? If both Gates and Barrett are serious about helping Indonesia, they can help this country become the new giant in ICT. In return, Indonesia would help them in producing cheap but powerful computing machines for underdeveloped countries.

The government needs to see this as an investment opportunity to build its ICT industry not just as an opportunity to get one-time price discounts from the giants.

The writer is an educational technologist. He can be reached at jaha@fulbrightweb.org

The New Internet Sport: Scambaiting

This article was published in the Jakarta Post, March 20, 2007.

Jaha Nababan, Contributor, Jakarta

Jaha Nababan and his family died in a sea accident. I never got a chance to write my own obituary.

I was Googling my own name on the Internet to see who was quoting the articles I wrote. To my surprise, I found a forum where someone complained about a 419 email scam he had received.

David Yegeni, the scammer, wrote that I had unclaimed payment for a housing development contract I carried out in South Africa because my whole family and I died at sea. The amount was a mouth-watering US$20 million. Yegeni, the scammer, offered to transfer the unclaimed payment to whoever was willing to pay him a small fee.

According to www.419eater.com, the 419 scheme refers to an advance-fee fraud, so known internationally after a section of the Nigerian penal code.

The schemes usually start with an individual or company receiving a letter or fax, or email in this case, from an alleged "official" representing a foreign government or agency. The correspondence offers to transfer millions of dollars in "over-invoiced contract" funds into the recipient's personal bank account. The sender will provide many fake documents to convince the recipients and encourage the recipient to travel overseas.

The goal is to get money from the recipient through advance fees for various taxes, attorney fees, transaction fees or bribes. Many have fallen victim to such fraud.

The scammers locate victims by using guest books on personal websites. Typing "guestbook" in a search engine will deliver millions of results. The scammers use an abundance of emails to target the victim. Responding to such email will only show the scammer that the email is active.

The people in at www.419eater.com, known as scambaiters, step into the scammers' game. Scambaiters try to scam the scammers and beat them at their own game -- with pranks.

Scambaiting is like a sport that involve scammers and scambaiters, who try to best the other by throwing convincing words and evidence. The scambaiter wins when they are able to get the scammer to do foolish things like send their own photographs or artwork. The scambaiter loses when the scammer finds out about the pranks.

In responding to scams, the scambaiters use funny names such as Shiver Metimber, Eric Shun, Acksi Dent and the like. With a little photo editing skills, scambaiters can provide documents such as airway bills, bank forms, booking forms and even newspaper clips to prove the pranks.

The scambaiters even have their own fake bank, Plunder and Flee Incorporated with a P.O. Box address, to convince the scammers.

There are many free services on the Internet that the scambaiters can use to trick the scammers, such as Internet fax services and Internet voice mail services. The scambaiters consider this a sport and the trophy is a picture of the scammer, not to mention useless international phone calls, fax and courier service charges made by the scammers as bonuses.

Many of the scammers hail from western and southern Africa. According to www.419eater.com, about 50-55 percent of Internet scams come from these areas.

Scambaiters also warn newbees of this new Internet sport, and that the scammers are very dangerous. Newbees are warned not to disclose any personal information nor be persuaded to travel to South Africa, a common destination in these scams. They also underline in a disclaimer that theirs is not a racist site.

The scammers work in syndication. They have the financial capacity to make expensive international calls and faxes, as well as send documents using courier services. In some cases they are willing to sent a few thousand dollars to convince the victim that the money they offer exists.

On my encounter with these scammers, I received emails using names from the Middle East, Asia and many more regions. Judging from the email header, many of these emails are routed back to the African region.

Some of the smarter scammers have figured out that African names will ignite instant suspicion. The names are probably fished out from Google or another search engine.

As mentioned in the introduction, the scammers also use the names they have fished to create a convincing story.

Should one want to enter this new Internet sport, please make sure that the scam email was sent from far away Mugu-land -- land of the scammer.

But www.419eater.com also mentions that many scam attempts are sent from England, Spain, Ireland, the U.S., Canada, the Netherlands, Australia and many more.

If your name has been used as a sender in scam email, you can report this to your service provider by sending a copy of the scam email. Consequently, the service provider will likely terminate the account.

On the other hand, it is difficult to handle cases in which your name is used in a scam story, as in my case. The best thing you can do is ask the search engine where you got the hit to erase the entry.

As a preventive measure, running your name occasionally on a search engine can halt further damage to your credibility.

The writer is a Fulbright grantee and Kelly Elizabeth Stephens Scholar, who contributes articles on educational media and technology.

Sepotong Surat Kematian

It's been quite a long time since i last wrote my poem. The last time was probably during my flight back home forgood from Boston in Jan 2005. Gee...

The title is "A piece of Death Certificate - Sepotong Surat Kematian". I wrote this when I was holding and starring at my Dad's Death Certificate. I was daydreaming of the goodtimes i had with him and all those quality times we had. I often went very far from him (geographically) on assignments or study. I once prayed that I'd be by his side when he passed away. My prayer was granted, I was with him from his fainted, coma, and passing away.

Yes, the poem was made in good memory of my father, however I hope that this poem may inspire you to write everything. It is our life that what we are talking about.

Sepotong Surat Kematian

Kupandangi selembar, tidak… bukan selembar,
Hanya sepotong surat kematian.

Kupandangi terus hingga ia membaur dengan halimun khayalku,
Tak terbaca meski tertulis.
Tanpa arti tetap ia pun tertulis.

Hidup mulai dengan tertulis di atas selembar surat bernama Akte Lahir.
Konon kita menulis hidup kita sendiri
di antara dua buah surat tertulis tanda kehidupan.

Hidup ini pun konon tertulis dalam takdir baik dan takdir buruk Illahi.
Tetap kita menulisnya…. Konon,

Bila kita memang menulisnya…
Mungkin kita tidak tahu apa yang kita tuliskan
Mungkin pula tahu.
Mungkin…
Tetapi ianya berakhir tertulis di dalam sepotong surat kematian.
Tanpa arti tetap ia pun tertulis.

Bila kita memang menulisnya…
Mungkin ia tercatat
Mungkin ia dicatat… Konon, memang dicatat di atas sana.
Atau mungkin
Kita sendiri yang mencatatkan.

Mungkin…
Tetapi ianya berakhir tertulis di dalam sepotong surat kematian.
Tanpa arti tetap ia pun tertulis.

Tak ingin keakuanku berakhir dalam sepotong kertas tertulis tanpa arti.

Hey….
Sepotong surat kematian itu seolah membantahku.

Aku bukan sepotong kertas tertulis tanpa arti, katanya.
Padaku tertulis akhir manusia yang tahu apa yang ia tulis, meski ia tak tahu bagaimana hal itu berakhir.
Padaku tertulis akhir manusia yang menuliskan hidupnya pada buku-buku catatan manusia-manusia lain selain buku catatannya.
Padaku tertulis akhir manusia yang menulis dengan keringat pada lembar-lembar darah dagingnya.
Meski ia tidak tahu bagaimana itu berakhir,
Ia berharap berlembar-lembar catatan itu menuliskan hal-hal baru yang menghiasi dunia ini dengan keindahan.

Sepotong badanku memang tertulis,
Mungkin tertulis tanpa arti
Tetapi kau yang tertulis padaku bisa hidup beribu-ribu tahun lamanya.

Maukah kamu?

Jaha Nababan,
Ramadhan 1427 H – Ramadhan pertama tanpa Papa.